I’m a Sagittarius Rising which means I’m ruled by Jupiter and my Jupiter is in Leo: the sign it’s transiting now. In fact, it made the exact degree return around the same hour as the powerful Sun/Jupiter Conjunction. So I spent the day studying, dreaming, scheming, and bubbling over a cauldron (literally) as I look back at the returns I’m noticing in my chart and how they’ve returned in the past.

The main returns I keep seeing are returns to past creative projects that fulfilled me: the band, the books, art school, finishing my first film… they’re all highlighted by similar transits I’ve experienced in the past. So as I try to figure out how to blog I thought I’d look back at when I blogged before: LiveJournal.

like all of us know: middle school sucked. Mine was riddled with the beginning of depression, bullying, and understanding what it meant to have tits. But when I’m not trying to be a trauma-dumper, I remember the good things: friends, music, the internet.

So let’s go back and heal with the good things and not just focus on the pain, right? LOL

Making my friends mixes was my favorite thing after I got my first iPod and started uploading all of the CDs I could find into my iTunes library. I found so much magick in music when I was little. And around the era I’m talking about is when I started discovering new music without my family or the radio. I began reading online blogs and lived by The Music Slut and so many others I’ve lost to time and excesses of pot smoking.

For years I’ve been trying to return to music ever since I left playing it after being in my band Always Hard. I dream of being back on stage again one day but I think I need to get back into sharing music before I can go on to writing it.

So here’s a playlist for you, to let you know what I’m feeling without pouring out too much of my diary.

While I named the playlist after my Venus Detriment which is returning right now, the vibe is more of the whole summer and all the returns I’m feeling right now or are approaching.

I’m feeling my venus, jupiter, and lilith return back to the signs of my natal chart and it’s a rebirth of love, healing, and art. We’re also approaching my Nodal returns and I’m very much starting to face down the karmic reminders of it all.

I’m really good at the internet. It’s been a joke my friends have said about me since we got on message boards back in middle school. While it’s all sent in ig and tt dms nowadays they used to be emailed back and forth so it feels fitting to flood your inbox with my inane musings and the goofy little pictures I decide to put with them.

Venus doesn’t like me. She is in her fall in my chart and we’re working on repairing the relationship with devotion and Solomon’s pentacles etc etc, but let’s just be honest: I’m more of a Lilith grrrly. She’s right on my ascendant (literal same degree) and her story has always aligned with mine more. I was never a “good girl”. My grandmother calls it “mal dita” so I know it runs in my line: Women that need more than just pouring out their cup. Not all creatrixes are mothers. Some of us have chosen to stay firmly in the Auntie Archetype and as I’m a year out from my abortion, it feels crucial to delve into the MAIDEN AUNTIE CRONE of it all.

Maiden Auntie Crone is the idea that AUNTIE is just as potent an archetype as mother. She is the one you go to when you can’t go to mom alone. She’s the one when you can’t go to mom at all. We talk about the fierce energy of mama-bear but in the years I’ve been talking about this everyone has understood the “auntie with a gun” archetype I remember growing up with.

I am never going to have kids. My mental health precludes that desire. So much so that at the beginning of the year I decided to pursue a hysterectomy. When I get back on that insurance that desire will be explored more actively, right now I’m focusing on the mental health. My mental health also means I won’t be allowed to have a gun either, haha. So who is my auntie? I’m aiming for Rich Witch Auntie. Her Own Boss Auntie. More Fun Than Mom Auntie. That’s me.

Jupiter just moved into leo and as it conjuncted the sun in the sky it also made the same degree return as my natal chart. Which means the next year is gonna be huge for me. I have already made the decision to put my health first and new york second and that means my friendships are changing, my relationships are changing, and most of all: I am changing.

12 years ago was my last Jupiter return. It was right after I had had a miscarriage after an unplanned pregnancy that felt like I SHOULD take a wander down the mother path. My body and the universe wanted otherwise though and I miscarried at 10 weeks. I had only been in Brookyln a little over a year and my body needed less fetus and more New York, I guess.

So it feels fitting to be back here again, deciding what the fuck to do next. Except this time I’m not scared and I know I’m safe. Maybe that’s auntie energy too.

Jupiter is my ruler. I’m a Sag rising and Jupiter in Leo means I’m all fire when it’s my time to shine. Jupiter is the king of the gods. The thunder in the sky. He defeated his father Saturn to rule the earth and nature while his brothers Neptune and Pluto took the seas and the underworld. A pretty powerful ruler IMO.

I take it seriously that this spicy god is my ruler. It’s new to me, but I’m learning to take it seriously.

Right now what it means is that I’m learning how to take up space as the person that is cycling back around to so many points of return. I’m relearning a new/old gratitude. I’m singing again. I’m writing again. Paint covers my hands most days bc I’m making so much art these days.

I’m healing a part of me I thought I lost and I’m ready to see what being AUNTIE to these parts is going to do for me.

I’m feeling myself for the first time in 10 years. I wanna share that with you. I wanna grow in abundance like my ruler teaches me to. I want to learn with Lilith and get right with Venus. Are you on this journey with me?